Stone Fence, Stone Wall

How are you all?

I've been slack with blogging lately, I have just been pretty busy with fair preparations, and my laptop has been turning itself off several times an evening. I'm trying to hold on until August which is when the contract runs out on it (I pay £30 a month for the laptop and a dongle - mobile broadband), then I'm giving my dad my laptop (that is if the computer man at our work can clean it up and fix it for him, would be mean to give him a broken laptop!) and getting a new contract. This time I want a netbook though, so I can take it out and about with me if needed. I'm used to the money coming out each month so it's not really a big difference.

Anywho, what a horrible weekend I had last week... normally I would blog when something upsets me, but this is something I am frankly sick of hearing about and talking about, and I can't keep going over it all.

Let's just say, another 'friend' seems to have bitten the dust... someone who has been my best friend for the whole time I have been in Cardiff (over 2 years). But at the end of the day if your 'best friend' repeatedly lies to you and keeps things from you, despite all the chances you have given her to 'fess up, it's bound to end in tears. I'm not happy about it... but I can't trust someone who would knowingly lie and hurt me.

What do you do when a friend tells you something about your boyfriend? Especially when your boyfriend is swearing on their life that it isn't true... I would say that you should always trust the friend. But it complicates things when that friend finally admits she has been lying to you herself for weeks. And then when another friend mentions it to her, she lies again! I know what I think in my heart of hearts and I hope it isn't true... but my so-called 'friends' behaviour has ruined me.

Telling me something is one thing, ramming it down my throat and then discussing it with someone who is known to hate me is another thing... how can someone say they care when they do that? And then to basically wish it upon me that it turns out what they heard is right?!

Someday if they are ever in my position, I hope they realise that a friend should never judge, a friend should not turn their back on you, and a friend should know a relationship is between two people and that it is simply not a case of picking one persons story over the other. I have felt so lost lately, and like I've had no-one to turn to. Things like this make me want to go be a hermit and not have contact with anyone, except of course my boys... it's strange when you don't know who to trust.