trip to the doctors

so last night i finally went to my doctor's to get a prescription and ask a few questions.the doctor asked me if i wanted to try going on 20mg of my antidepressant,rather than the 30mg i've been on for a few years(ish).i said i'd give it a go,and it made me feel good,if i could cut down on the dosage,maybe soon i could ditch them all together.i do feel a little hesitant though,as it makes me feel so ill and out of sorts missing a dosage,so i'm worried i will get similar symptoms by taking less?i mean today i feel a little out of it,and i slept in until 1pm!it's most likely because i forgot to take my tablet on friday.scary that just missing one can have such an effect.i have missed days worth of tablets before and it is not pretty.shivers,tremors,crazy realistic dreams,headache,aches and pains,even dizziness and blurred sight have all occurred.i was in a world of shitness:(
anyway,so i'm not too sure how i will take being on less medication,but we shall see.fingers crossed i don't get the above listed symptoms,and of course,that my crazy ocd behaviour doesn't resurface..!i was actually thinking last night,wouldn't it be insane if it turned out my tablets were placebos?
anyway,besides that,the doctor prescribed me some ointment for my eczema on my ears,which seems to be working so far.but the ingredients tell me it is made of paraffin...and paraffin.nice.i also found out that no CIN has been found in regards to the colposcopy (try and spell it right this time!)which is good,and that just another smear is due in 6 months.the letter had me thinking it was another colposcopy they wanted to do,and it was so vague,it didn't tell me there was no CIN found,just that it came back slightly abnormal.no matter how many times i read up on it all,i'm still not quite sure what CIN is!but i am very relieved to know a little more about the results,and fingers crossed the next six months don't bring up anything more for my next test.