Friday, 31 July 2009

thank you shani

for introducing me to one of the funniest things i have ever read...
Lauren's Bite

we love chips

sam came to stay last night, as it was easier for her to get the coach from cardiff to london early this morning.y'see she is being tattooed by eckel today at frith street in soho.lucky little lady.i have pretty sore memories of my eckel tattoo time in frith street at the start of the year,i had the side of my neck done.and boy,did it hurt!i was writhing around like a wiggly worm.eeeee.sam is having a harry potter themed piece on her ribs.yes,on her ribs.crazy lady!can't wait to see it though:)sam is awesome.love her.
we had chips for tea:D this is sam keeping hold of the terrors while i went in to get the food.they barked manically at a bigger dog across the street.they can be little hellions.


sam and her cuppa and bela.

bambi von likes chilling out in small spaces.it also means bela leaves him alone,well,for a little while anyway.

less of the vagueness


this one is made by twocooltexans on etsy.

yesterday i posted that i had found a creative path i thought i would try taking:)i think it could be very hit and miss as i don't think it would be to everyones taste.but basically i want to start making one off journals to sell on etsy.i love being creative,but i find it difficult to find one thing i excel in.so i'm gonna try making ooak journals/diaries,using fabric,buttons,jewellery and pictures to decorate the covers,and trying to find diaries each time that have their own individual feel to them.whether it be lovely paper,or have a key and lock to it.it will be a lot of fun i think,and even if i just make them ocassionally i think it will be very satisfying.plus i get to play around with pretty bits and bobs!etsy already has quite a lot of handmade journals and diaries available,they're so pretty:)

Thursday, 30 July 2009

etsy <3


i think that

i have come up with a creative outlet for myself...

this makes me excited indeed :)

x

this made me lol a lot


how did bambi manage to keep this from me?

loli's




i LOVE the japanese.
http://lolita-handbook.livejournal.com/3035.html#cutid1

i need to face up to it

i've had this problem for a few years now.it's kinda embarassing owning up to it,as it just sounds so yucky.but my skin is scarred and sore,and it is upsetting me that i can't seem to get past this.i am on antidepressants for OCD,which i hope to eventually finish.i feel quite angry at myself,why do i seem to find a new disorder for myself now and then?when i was 15,anorexia.a little older,i was depressed.a few years ago,OCD.and now this.but i have come to realise that i am self-harming.and it seems silly to say this.it's not like i'm using blades,just my nails.and with the dogs having fleas lately and me consequently getting bitten,the skin on my legs is painful and full of open sores.even where i am tattooed.i need to get it together.i need to realise that picking at a wound is not going to make it go away,just make it worse.





Pathologic skin picking is a mental illness in which you compulsively pick your skin to remove small irregularities such as moles or freckles. Although classified as an impulse control disorder, it has been suggested that skin picking is related to OCD.
What are the Symptoms?

The main characteristic of pathologic skin picking, also referred to as psychogenic excoriation or dermatillomania, is repetitive or compulsive picking (or even digging) in the skin to point of causing skin damage, scarring and/or infection. It is not uncommon for people with skin picking to engage in picking for several hours per day. As a result, people who pick often have difficulty maintaining steady employment or interpersonal relationships.

When picking, people may use their fingers, tweezers, pins or other instruments to remove the blemish. Common areas of focus include the face, back, neck and scalp.

Although picking can involve normal skin, picking is most commonly triggered by small blemishes, imperfections, scabs and insect bites. Prior to picking many people describe a compulsion-like urge to pick at imperfections in the skin and a relief of anxiety when the imperfection is removed. Later, however, the person may feel shame or be embarrassed about his picking, which can often lead to depression.
Who is Affected?

Approximately 3% of the population is affected by pathological skin picking. Interestingly, most people seeking treatment are female. Skin picking can start at any age but usually begins in adolescence with the onset of skin conditions such as acne, eczema or psoriasis.

Not surprisingly, there appears to be a strong link between skin picking and OCD; skin picking occurs in people with OCD at a much higher rate than the general population. As well, skin picking is often tied to body dysmorphic disorder which involves a preoccupation with imagined bodily defects.
How is it Treated?

Skin picking often causes considerable embarrassment and distress as result of the unsightly wounds caused by picking as well as the lengths the affected person may have to go to conceal his picking (such as wearing long-sleeves during warm summer months or covering their face with a scarf)

Unfortunately, many people do not seek treatment because of the embarrassment associated with skin picking. This can be dangerous (or even life-threatening) as people often require medical interventions for their skin wounds, which are often infected.

Skin picking appears to respond best to treatment with a combination of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors and cognitive-behavior therapy. If you are experiencing symptoms that think might be skin picking, speak with your doctor.

Source:

Hayes, S., Storch, E.A., Berlanga, L. “Skin picking behaviours: An examination of prevalence and severity in a community sample” Anxiety Disorders 2009 23: 314-319

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

saffron-rori welsh


i miss her!saffy moved to worcester a little while ago,to set up home with her psychobilly fella.she's originally from caerphilly,wales and we got to know each other when i moved here.despite the difference in age(she's 19,me 25),i feel like we have a natural connection.she was a huge part of my life at one point,she would drive down to visit,usually bringing pizza and goodies.we would go to hammertime and get hopelessly drunk.we got locked out once and had to dangle through the bathroom window to get back in.i love her that much that i even got into a physical,albeit stupid and drunken,fight outside a club.we both wear hair extensions.it was like a hair extension bomb had gone off.ooops.she has always been there for me,and although we had a period where things went iffy(i think that was down to me),we adore each other.that brief time where we lost touch,i had made a new friend in jo,and stupidly appeared to put seeing her over seeing saffron.i never meant it that way,and to think that i hurt saffy by doing so breaks my heart.but i truly love saffy to bits.she's my little sweetheart and i'm very lucky to count her as my best friend.

team away day

we had a team away day today at a bar up town,in the function room.it was pretty dull and i was very close to falling asleep in the first half.for lunch myself and another worker had to go find somewhere to eat,as the food supplied wasn't vegan.they obviously thought vegan people would eat what looked like potatoes covered in butter and just salad on it's own.so we ended up in a little cafe in one of the arcades called crumbs.kim had a vegan curry,and i had pasta with vegetables.
we did do a little exercise,which i thought was a cool idea.each staff member had an envelope containing a blank sheet of paper,with their name on.we all had to pass these envelopes around the tables,and everyone had to write a few positive words describing that person.we then all got our envelopes at the end of the day.

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

by my own fair hands

a few pictures from the weekend

weekend with my family in wolves again:)was not looking forward to the journey back at all last night as the train didn't get into 12.45am.to make matters worse,the train stopped twice(once,because engineers on the track,the second time...who knows?the driver obviously didn't feel the need to share with us)and it finally pulled into cardiff at almost 2am.i'm at work today and i is tired indeed.ah well.

found this cute little deer in a charity shop:)then it fell on the train station platform and it's head breaked off :/oh deer!think i will need to get the superglue out.

a couple of video nasty's for mikee(6 for £1 is ridiculous,but i like it!)...and labyrinth for me<3


i had time to kill while waiting at shrewsbury station...i do love my wednesday addams-esque shoes,but i was sick of them by 2am last night.heavy shoes on very long train journeys=fail.

susie,my mom's (owl)cat.she actually seemed to like me this weekend:)i got to stroke her a few times,and i love how tiny she is compared to the doglets.

i should have brought a change of clothes,i got SICK of this outfit by the end of my stay.

me,bored and tired,at shrewsbury.my hair was randomly flicking up.the toilets were quite vile.

a huge match imitation candle lighter.

my mom and i ate at Arizona Crossing again.yummy food,and it reminded me that Bella is from there,as in,Bella in twilight.this weekend has seen me become quite obsessed with anything twilight related.

i like the toilet signs:)

if you haven't already guessed,ARIZONA crossing is somewhat american themed.

farm cats<3

taking advantage of the huge full length mirrors in my dad's room.my head looked way too big for my body.


my dad and jasmine:)


boredom on the train.the rose is by dawnii at painted lady tattoo parlour,birmingham,uk.(covering up a silly little anchor i had).
my beautiful lady,grace,done by eckel,times of grace,germany,at the london tattoo convention 2008.
"love" and "loss" by julie of lucky 13 tattoo,leicester,uk.

NOT from the weekend in wolves,but my boys enjoyed this puddle at the side of the road.(i don't like their leads,but at least they match)

Sunday, 26 July 2009

new moon and lost love


i only started reading the second twilight book yesterday on the train to wolverhampton.i am close to,if not already over(i forget),400 pages in,and the book is almost finished.who would have thought a vampire teen romance book could touch my soul so deep?without spoiling it,me and my friend saffy both agree that bella's situation in the start of the book seems so real and so true to us.absolutely amazing.i cannot wait for the film even more now.i am actually dreading finishing the book,as i'm pretty sure i will tonight.i could kick myself for leaving the next book,eclipse at home.i need to read it now.and especially on the late train back to cardiff tomorrow.sigh.

Friday, 24 July 2009

what a difference make-up can make


i really should make sure i get up earlier in the mornings,i look a lot better when i've had chance to take my time with my make-up.
ps. i really wish my weight would distribute more evenly, i want a chubbier face please!

when people comment my blogs

i feel like this:

you're all awesome!xxxxx

Thursday, 23 July 2009

few pics

i had to take a picture of bela and mikee last night,the way bela was sitting made me giggle!

and two of me...i'm not liking my hair today at all,but i love the heruge yellow flower i got from topshop,it was £3 reduced from £12 :)

sad face

i need to cancel my tattoo appointment for this weekend,as after bills,i simply cannot afford it.it's so sucky.pah.

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

wiggly lady

team twilight


i just finished reading twilight,and i loved it!they did such a great job of transferring it to film,i felt like the book was written after the film.there's something about twilight that makes me think back to when i spent most of my spare time reading,i would have been in my early teens and reading was my life.i would take the maximum of 10 books out at the library and would have read at least two of them by the end of the day.from sweet valley high to point horror(my absolute favourites),and from babysitters club to nightmares,i read them so greedily.i never got tired of them.my favourite passtime would be curling up on the sofa with some nice food (icecream with sprinkles usually!)and just spending all day reading.or i would wake up on the weekend and go back to bed with one of my books.i loved reading all the descriptions of the characters appearance,and of the romances they had.the age i was,i was nowhere near being at the age to attract boys,so reading about relationships used to make me excited for the future,and for finding love if i was lucky.reading these books took me away to a totally different place.most of the books i loved(and still prefer now)were american,so i have always felt an affinity for the american girls way of life!nevermind that it was a fictional version of it!so basically,i think my love for stephanie meyer's twilight stems back to when i was a total bookworm,and the kind of books i used to read.i think it has a certain innocence to it,without it being a childs book.sex is hinted at,but nothing more,and their isn't really any bad language.i really recommend people to read it,because it's basically just a love story.with vampires.and i'm all for that!so now,i need to get me a copy of new moon...

if a dolly could sing

that dolly would sound like joanna newsom.love her.

oh my oh my oh my

i just saw the most amazingly beautiful little pug baby on the street outside my work!one of the ladies who works here (fellow animal lover and vegan of many years) stopped the man walking the little beauty and knocked the door to tell me to come out!it was a little tiny pug girl!she didn't look real!oh wowwww....absolutely beautiful.that's made my day <3333

Monday, 20 July 2009

i want to be a princess


at our wedding :)

weddings


it has just become apparent to me that i do not have a clue where to start with trying to organise our wedding.all we are certain is that we want to be married in san francisco,in a basic ceremony,on the beach or some other suitably beautiful setting.it will just be me and mikee,so i guess we will need to nab a witness from somewhere.to all the married ladies on here,where did you even start with arranging your wedding?!and does anyone have any sf location suggestions for the ceremony?i am thinking of what kind of dress i should wear?and whether to splash out and have some awesome extensions put in?if i'm honest,all i care about is becoming a mrs to the man i adore.
i was looking through flickr and found a really cute set of photos of a "wedding in the woods".as flickr won't let me pinch it's photos,just go see: http://www.flickr.com/photos/13953481@N02/3338937935/
the couple look so cute and happy :)

sunday sadness

yesterday i was feeling very sad.i think it is because i feel like i have lost all artistic direction,and i don't know what i want to do with my life.my personal life couldn't be better,and we are both pretty excited for our impending wedding.i am so happy with mikee,i feel like i fall more and more in love with him each day.and we both adore our little furry men,they bring so much happiness and joy to our lives.
what i am getting down about is money,or lack of it.i hate that it is always in the back of my mind,the whole "can i afford this?" feeling.and what is especially getting me down is something i didn't expect would.my job.it is steady money,fairly easy and i literally live across the road from the offices.but i am growing very fed up with the way i get treated here.it seems to be true,that the lower the wage the less respect you get.it is very disheartening to know that the next salary up from me is an additional £5000.i don't earn even £1000 a month,and compared to everyone elses wages,that's pretty bad.my job could be so much worse.but it is surely bad enough that i feel so low and undervalued.i guess it's almost a given in employment,but it's sad that it has to be this way.i have spent more than enough years wasted not following my dreams.and what i think has unnerved me is that i now know i don't particularly want to get a tattoo apprenticeship.this is something i've wanted for a long time,for me to know that i no longer want this,is a little disconcerting.i need to find a direction.

Sunday, 19 July 2009

mikee's treat weekend

i decided to plan a little surprise day for mikee yesterday,just as a little token of my love for him.first of all the evening before,i treated us both to a trip to the cinema to see moon,starring sam rockwell.it was pretty good,but i was expecting a little more.i'd heard it had some amazing twist and was still waiting for it when the end credits came up,was so disappointed!good film,but could have been so much better.it was the first time i had been to the Vue cinema by riverside in cardiff.it's in a huuuuge building that also has a couple of bars/clubs inside it.and it's odd,because you buy your tickets and your food/drinks at the same counter.i guess that's a good idea?


mikee looking apprehensive about the escalators

told you it was high up!
saturday,i had planned for us to go to swansea,as we hadn't been together before.we got on the train a little before 12pm and arrived around an hour later.we had a lovely snack on the way,from marks and spencers.

i was surprised at how small swansea is,i was expecting quite a big town,which it isn't particularly.i also didn't realise it's quite quaint there,as in that me and mikee got quite a few looks while we were walking around.we spent quite a while wandering around the shops,nipped in a few charity shops but were pretty unsuccessful,except mikee's find of IT on video.the charity shops were pretty damn expensive,as some are in cardiff.it really bugs me when they are like that,because usually people that shop frequently in charity shops simply cannot afford to be paying those kind of prices and it seems a surefire way to alienate the regular customers.i mean,£3.99 for a tiny little owl ornament?that's been donated?!was not impressed!
however,we ended up having a nice walk round the town centre,and then had a yummy lunch on the beach.



alpro soya chocolate milkshake is lush.

we thought this was funny.GAMMA!!!!
we decided to have an impromptu alpro soya modelling campaign,y'know,just to show how we love it.

mikee LOVES alpro<3

me taking the more serious approach.
after our lovely lunch,we decided to head for plantasia.we wanted to see the monkeys we had heard about!now normally i'm a bit iffy about animals in captivity,ever since i heard that some zoos supply labs with monkeys,i have been even more against them.but plantasia isn't a zoo,and apparently has just one colony of endangered tamarind monkies,so we decided to at least give it a go.the pictures on the website looked awesome.

unfortunately we got there too late.at 4.39pm.it closed at 5pm.it's fair to say we were pretty gutted.me especially as the whole day had been planned around this.mikee was a sweetheart,reassuring me that we could always come back another time.so we had nothing to do but head to the train station and back to cardiff.i guess we shall have to try see the monkies another day.
we got back into cardiff just before 6pm and had just enough time while walking home through town to have a peep in one of my favourite shops,tk maxx.i didn't find any bargain homeware items(i headed straight for the clearance section as usual),but mikee found some cool black lace-ups.i also popped into primark where i spent £20 on some basic black pumps,some imitation "ugg" boots and a few items of clothing that were reduced.i can't really complain about the prices at all,though that is definitely my spending done for the month.i can't believe how little i have left and it's not even near a week after payday!grrr.trying not to let it stress me out,failing.
anyway,it was a pretty fab day and we were exhausted from all the walking when we finally got home!i felt awful about leaving our little men at home all day so was super pleased to see them when we got back:)we had bumped into a friend of mikee's in swansea,and she had her pug with her!it is the first time i have ever stroked a real-life pug,after all my years of pug worship.i was not disappointed!he had a tiny little body and a huge wrinkly head.i was in love!!!!i felt it was a little rude to take a photo,but i'm sure i will remember his little face forever!!!!awww:)
the day ended with us heating up the lush pasta,veg and tofu mikee had made the previous night.i freakin love tofu,though i really didn't like it at first.
and as i'm typing this,it's 4.49am,i couldn't sleep.though i think i'm gonna go back to bed now!i love it when you know you haven't got work to go to in the morning and you can go snuggle up in bed.ah,bliss.

i wish i could relax in front of a camera,maybe then i wouldn't always look constipated.

some awesome art for sale in a shop in swansea.

my outfit for the day.it would have looked better without the leggings underneath the shorts,but my legs are pasty and i still have marks from old flea bites...not attractive!