Monday 30 November 2009

listen up followers!

are there any of you whose blog i am not following?if so,please tell me so i can!it's just occurred to me now,i may not have started to follow you...yet.but i will!just give me a gentle shove in the right direction.always makes me feel a little put-out if i'm following someone but they're not following me!x

Sunday 29 November 2009

today

has been a little shitty.i sat here just now,trying to think of a less negative way to describe it.but to hell with it,shitty is probably the plainest way to describe it!it has been shitty for a few reasons:

i knew my mom was ill last week (i can usually tell as she won't answer her phone if she's feeling ill),and was really worried and upset.my mom has very severe rheumatoid arthritus and has since her early twenties.despite having both elbow joints and her knee replaced,she is still,some days,racked with pain.other days,there is pain,but no so bad.i finally got through to her today,and amongst discussions of many other things,she told me how bad it was.on friday she was in bed all day.she finally got an appointment with the doctor late friday afternoon,and they gave her a steroid injection,which always helps for a little while.she said she was in so much pain,she could barely speak to the doctor.i know how bad my mom's illness can be.she lives alone,and lives a very solitary life.this kills me.this literally breaks my heart,over and over.it is too complicated to go into,it spans many years and many emotions.but the thought of my mom on friday,in bed and alone,wracked with pain...it is almost too much for me to think about.am i being melodramatic?and do you think this kind of subject is too private to air on a 'public' internet site?i do wonder sometimes...but the followers on my blog...as silly as it sounds,i feel a connection of some sort to you all.and most importantly,i want this blog to be totally honest.and this is what today has been like.

my twin brother has recently left his long term girlfriend of almost six years.it has been a messy and painful split,from what i know (of course you never really know unless you are one of the people in the relationship).he is having trouble now with his ex-girlfriend,related to money,and rent for what was their home together.i spoke to my twin earlier,and he sounds stressed out.it's not nice to hear.and there's nothing i can do,and nothing he would let me do.it is not my place.it is between my brother and his ex-girlfriend.the whole situation is also having effects on all of us,his family,we of course want him to be happy,and also feel sadness for his ex-girlfriend,who has said she did not want this to happen.relationships ending are painful,long before you bring money and other basic issues into it.

mikee and i argued today,over a stupid case of him not doing his share of the household chores.this may sound silly,but it does get to me sometimes.especially as it means i feel a sort of resentment,and i am also very busy at the moment trying to get ready for the xmas fair.so to save this resentment building up,and me hiding it,i have tried to reasonably sort out some kind of 'sharing' when it comes to cleaning and tidying.for some reason ( i say this,as mikee is not stupid,and is not overly untidy) mikee just refuses to do his bit sometimes.and it gets to me.i feel like a mug for putting up with it.so we argued.and we haven't spoke since near to 5pm.it's almost 11.30pm now.i don't know about any of you,but that's a long time to keep an argument up,and sit in a room silently with the person you do actually adore.hating it right now.

and lastly,my nan.my dad said she is doing a lot better,and i even said hello to her on the phone.she sounded a lot better,it was almost like the old times,where i would ring her every other day to chat to her.i miss those times.i just hope my nan continues to be well.

apologies if my last few posts have been long and rambling,that's what happens sometimes i think when you're really writing from the heart.

i'm now in bed,with the two boys curled up to me.i am so grateful for what i have.but i think it is only normal to have super shitty days!

hope you are all well and happy :) xxxx

Saturday 28 November 2009

recap of the day

sitting here with my cup of tea,and waiting for both my hair and nail varnish to dry,so thought i'd do an update.

today has been worrying,and a little sad.my nan who is 95,had a fall last night and was sick through the night.apparently the morphine that she had been prescribed for her cancer gave her some awful side effects.my nan isn't aware she has cancer.this may sound strange but her mind has rapidly gone downhill,i don't like to use the word 'dementia',it doesn't feel right,she's my dad's mother,my nan.i don't like to refer to her by a condition.but it seems pointless to try and tell her she has cancer again (she had it probably close to 50 years ago) when she will most likely not understand it.why worry her?in not many cases is ignorance preferable,but i think this may be an exception to the rule.but basically,it's her age.95,that is a hard age to even comprehend.so anyway,it was a rough night for my dad and his sister and her family.apparently my nan even stopped breathing at some points.but she got through the night and they put her to bed at 7am.my dad text me asking him to call him.i got the text when i woke up,around 10am.because of my nan's age,i am always expecting 'that text'.so i thought it may be the time.i called my dad back and he explained the situation.i called my auntie,who was at my nans,and spoke to her.they said she was in bed asleep.my brother then called me and we talked about it all.

i offered to go home several times.i feel so useless here.i know i can't do much physically,but i want to be there for my dad.my dad is my absolute rock,and i want to be his.my dad,and my brother,said there was no need to go back,not yet.but times like this,i realise just how selfish my decision to come and live in cardiff was.i feel like i have deserted my family.and i don't know how to solve this.i would move nearer.cardiff means a lot to me,but it's just a location,a place.home is where the heart is.but.mikee has made it clear he would not move to the west midlands with me (where i come from).i won't go too much into this,but this is hard to comprehend,and hard to understand.because should something come up (like my mom waiting for chest x-ray results the other week,there was a slight suspicion that it could be cancer again-she has also been through cancer),i was thinking whether i could go back,at least for a few months,to be there for my mom,and my family.luckily,and i am so thankful,it turned out to be fine.but the discussion mikee and i had was a little unsettling.as much as i love mikee,and want to be with him for always,we are very different people,and i can't always understand his thinking.i know i would go anywhere for him,i would.and i would do anything for him.sometimes it's hard,when you realise that some people aren't like that.as much as they love you,they can't give you 101%.maybe i give too much.maybe i shouldn't,after the awful 5 year relationship i had previously,maybe i should have learned my lesson,not to give all of myself away...but no.this is who i am.i give my all.and i'm not changing that part of me.

so,today has been a worry.everything seems to have settled down.i am so upset for my nan.but i guess because i know my nan is not quite as 'aware',i am thinking a lot of my dad.to watch his mother go through this (my dad has been going to his mother's every day for over 10 years without fail,since my grandad passed away),to see her finding it hard to breathe,to see her mind slipping away...it must be heartbreaking.i love my nan,i love my dad.i wish there was something i could do.

i don't want this post to be all negative and sad.i am thankful that my nan seems to be settled for now.so,onto some slightly more trivial,but cheerful,parts of my day.mikee and i popped into town as mikee was playing a gig tonight with spider kitten (his friend's band...think they're kinda 'doom'y sounding),and needed some stuff for his drums.i needed some more glue,and some diaries!so we had a walk into cardiff city centre,which was crazy busy,just horrendous.i don't like it that busy,when just walking through town is difficult...so we did what we needed to do and headed home.phew!but we did sneak in some food from holland & barrett,an italiano slice/pastie for me,and a 'sos' roll for mikee(both vegan of course).

we got back around 1.30(we'd headed into town pretty late anyway)and watched 'the condemned',which i've seen before and just got round to buying as it was super cheap at whsmith.it looks really cheesy,and it is a little...it has 'stone cold' steve austin and vinnie jones in it...lame!and it is super violent...actually made me cringe at times.i can stomach gore/violence but i have always had a dislike of violence where it is a group of people against one...makes my stomach churn.i can't explain it.and prolonged violence too.maybe why i hate gangster films so much?:S anyway,the film has a good meaning really...i think it's basically turning a mirror to society,to us...and saying,what will we NOT watch,where will we draw the line...it's an interesting film...underneath the cheesiness,the brutal violence...and the nickelback soundtrack.seriously!

after the film,mikee had to get ready and set out for his gig,which was in 'the valleys',not far from cardiff.i got to work on customising journals for my xmas fair stall,and i think (i wasn't counting as such!) i made around 14 of them...once i get started i lose myself in it...oh,and i watched a streamed copy of new moon whilst busy crafting!i adore new moon.i could watch it over and over (probably good as it will give my copy of twilight a break!)

and finally,around 9.30 (around 5 hours after i started),i decided to call it a night and have a nice hot shower.but not before i sat with hairdye on my head for half an hour (i'm a mousy brown girl naturally,eek) and painting my nails with a lovely glittery red barry m nail polish i got today.i LOVE barry m!and most of their products are vegan,which is awesome!it was 3 for 2 in superdrug today,so i got super sparkly red,zombie type green,and a 'metallic' black liquid eyeliner...interested to see how it differs from the standard black eyeliner,hmmm:)

all in all,it's been a day of mixed emotions,unfortunately most of them sad...but i am trying to keep focused on being there for my dad,and keeping busy with my xmas fair preparations.

Friday 27 November 2009

£24 in paperchase,£17 in poundland=

lots of materials for my crafting ideas...<3 managed to get three custom order diaries (almost) done tonight,as well as a few other diaries.at the moment i just need to get lots of stuff made.and then i will make a start on the smaller,more precious items,such as hairbows and rings:)

Wednesday 25 November 2009

gaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

so much to do for the xmas fair,which is in just over two weeks...majorly worried i'm not gonna be ready for it.

christmas is on it's way

and i have barely even thought about it.it has been a good few years since i have made a huge effort for christmas,but i'm thinking i may well put up decorations this year.i'd quite like to make a fuss of it,because mikee and i have not celebrated christmas together before...well,not really anyway.

when i met him just over two years ago,we hadn't been together long at all by the time it was christmas.that christmas i was really naughty(to my famiy)and stayed in cardiff.looking back,i feel so guilty not seeing my family over christmas.it makes me feel awful and the worst daughter in the world.you see,i had a lot of shitty stuff going on in wolverhampton and i had not long been with mikee,so all that culminated in me spending almost a week in cardiff over christmas.we decorated mikee's room in his and joel's flat,as if it was halloween.i even zombied it up...mikee did not,spoilsport!

the christmas after that,i did go home,but mikee stayed in his(then)home,which was a warehouse he and joel were looking to convert into practice rooms/a place for them to live.bela stayed with mikee,and bambi came with me.not quite sure why i 'allowed' that...i think it was because i tend not to take both of the boys on the train.christmas...was okay.i did miss mikee and bela,but it felt right to be with my family.

this christmas,i will be in wolverhampton again,and i',m hoping mikee will be with me...but we shall see!but i am certain i will be taking bambi and bela,they seemed a little out of sorts being apart last time!

but back onto christmas fast approaching...i have no idea what presents i need to buy and i haven't started looking yet!one good thing about having only a couple of close friends means that i don't have many presents to buy,hehe.no,but seriously,i'm not like that!i would be honoured to have more friends to buy for!i'm not even sure what to get mikee yet...either a large present (maybe a piece of equipment he needs for his PA business),or lots of little presents i think...?

i was asked earlier what i wanted for christmas,by a work colleague.both my parents have said they will give me a little money to go towards my driving lessons,which will be greatly appreciated!besides that,there's not a huge amount i need or want...mikee did say he might buy me some gifts from paperchase(the new store in cardiff blew me away when we had a look in there last week!),and some crafting materials from hobbycraft.i don't even mind,my gift would be if mikee would be with me on the day,though i do understand that his family are here and he has his responsibilities to visit also!i'm sure we will figure it out somehow!

Saturday 21 November 2009

new moon

at 11.45 pm last night,we finally went into the cinema to watch new moon.i have waited soooo long for this as i know so many other fans have.and it was amazing.i was mesmerised the whole way through.i won't say much,don't wanna spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet.but i truly adored it and can't stop thinking about it!i'm off to see it tomorrow and i cannot wait x

Friday 20 November 2009

ask me FINALLY answered

* apol0gies for the bizarre way this blog has arranged itself!not quite sure how as it normally doesn't do this!*

so,as i know i'm gonna be pretty busy starting from today(though you know i will fit in two showings of new moon this weekend...but of course!),i thought i'd try answer your ask me requests:)
so...

my craft area.this has only been set up this week so is still a work in progress.notice the hugely huge stool?well that is not going to be my craft chair."why?"you ask!because it's too freakin big for the desk,hehe.


now,the view from the living room window (nb.we are on the 1st floor,the building has 3 floors.it's an old victorian type terraced house)...please excuse the scuff marked windows,the boys sit at the window almost all of the time and are constantly touching the windows.i do clean them,but not all the time as their scuff-creating is pretty much a full-time job for them.

we are in a street that is around a 5 minute walk from cardiff city centre,which is awesome when you need to head into town.on the left of us is a main road,and also my workplace(literally a minutes walk from where i live,i'm so lucky!).on the right of us are more houses,a backpackers hostel called 'nomad' and cardiff university art campus.and opposite us is a basketball court,and a building that is a youth club on the evenings.

now,the kitchen.i decided to stay 'true to life'(ie.resist the urge to tidy up!) and just snap it how it is right now.our kithcen has nice big ceilings,and what i really like is the step down into the bathroom/bedroom area.nice to have different levels.(ps.old washing machine that needs to be taken to the tip not pictured!)




onto the bathroom(don't think anyone asked for this,but thought i'd include it anyway!)



i was asked to take a picture of my bed...well,at the moment the bedroom is a mess,simply because i have taken a lot of the pictures etc from there,to put in my craft corner.also,we desperately need a new bed!ours is so old and tired...hopefully we will get that sorted in the next couple of months.oh,the sorrows of being on just decent wages!however,i did take a photo,but mainly of the walls around the bed,hehe,i cheated a little!
the bedroom is at the back of the building and looks out onto the neighbours downstairs' backyard(which used to be mine as i lived down there originally,how i wish we had our flat but their yard too!).it's kinda weird as you have to walk through the bathroom to get to the kitchen/living room(with a few little hallway spaces inbetween),unless you go out the flat's front door number 1 and enter through the second 'front' door!

the same goes for the wardrobe as our bed really,it desperately needs updating,both the wardrobe itself and the contents!a few months back i brought lots of clothes(mainly from ebay!)but i haven't brought a huge amount since(well,since i started my crafting venture...supplies don't buy themselves!).the wardrobe is pretty dull as i mainly wear black and it's all kinda crammed in there.mikee has a few cupboards with his clothes in,and has been working on a 'clothes island' as of late,aka. he dumps all his clothes on this coffee table thing we have in the bedroom.it's quite a colossal sight to take in.



onto another of the lovely danielle's requests:)my make-up!i don't wear a huge amount daily,and now being a vegan i have to be even more careful i buy non-animal tested products,so here's my usual make-up routine:
stargazer white foundation;barry m black liquid eyeliner;urban decay skyscraper mascara;vivienne westwood 'boudoir' perfume(a freebie,not really to my taste,my favourite is thierry mugler,which i need to re-buy!);beauty without cruelty tangerine lipstick;tweezers(a must!)
and here's the majority of the make-up i hardly ever use!(i do have more but i haven't used it in even longer than this lot!):
there's a lot of barry m glitter pots there,seriously the best eyeshadows i have ever found!there's also some awesome glitter liners that they do too,but i never seem to have one of those chunky pencil sharpeners to hand when i want to wear them!(mental note:must buy a metal pencil sharpener!).the other stuff is random,like rimmel,bourjois,beauty without cruelty,collection 2000.i shop very cheap,and besides beauty without cruelty(a vegan cosmetics brand)is so cheap,i don't need to spend more!i would most likely not buy rimmell,bourjois or collection 2000 again,as they have not been listed as one of the vegan companies...such a shame really,there's no need to test cosmetics on animals.

anddddd...lastly!my fridge!now!it doesn't look much,as most of the nicer food would be in the cupboards(read:junk)and both fridges(we have two small sized)need their little freezer boxes defrosted(we have a seperate freezer,so we totally don't need those two tiny iceboxes anyway,hence the lack of defrosting!)...anyway,in the fridges i found:'cauldron' tofu(i LOVE tofu!),'asda'(walmart)soya yogurts,'pure'vegan cheese slices,bananas,lots of veg(mushrooms,broccoli,tomatoes,carrots,lettuce etc),houmous,pasta sauce,'vitalite'sunflower(vegan)spread(delicious,and so cheap to buy!under £1 a big tub),'pure'vegan cheese spread,cans of dandelion and burdock pop(soda to you americans!<3),raspberry jam,shredless marmalade,'alpro'soya milk,'provamel'vegan chocolate custard,'sainsburys' dairy-free custard and some other stuff.more than i thought actually!

well,i hope that was at least a little bit interesting!sorry for the delay,but thank you so much for your requests,nice to know people do read my blog.i urge anybody reading this to do it themselves and tell me so i can ask to see your homes!(sorry i missed yours danielle!)

xxxxxxxx

it's 12.19am

and if you were on my facebook,you would know just how bummed i am that i'm not at the midnight showing of new moon.this sucks.i booked my tickets over a month ago,and didn't realise there was a midnight showing.our tickets are for friday late night,and sunday evening.but i wanna be there now goddamnit!my best friend saffron managed to get press tickets to go see it at 8.15pm in worcester (where she lives)...someone working in hmv just gave them to her!!!!she was a good girl and didn't spill anything,as she knows i don't wanna hear about it,but she said it is amazing.and by that she means,AMAZING!roll on friday night...

annnnnnnd,i'm gonna try get some pictures taken tomorrow for my 'ask me' blog.been pretty busy on my week off,and now i have booked a stall for the birmingham cruelty-free xmas fair (on december 12th...just a few weeks ago!),i am gonna be even busier!eeeek!this time around proceeds will be going to the ARPS (Animal Rights Prisoner Support group).

until tomorrow anyway....

ps. the wind is crazy lately...never heard it howl so much!

Wednesday 18 November 2009

quick

blog!been in wolves over the weekend with my family,and although i do miss my family like hell,i realised i am missing nothing good from wolverhampton itself...it's a dump now,so many closed shops and derelict buildings...not good:(

have the week off as i am owed holiday time from work,around 3 weeks to be exact.so i have a week off in december also,and one just after new year,as my 26th birthday is then (and,coincidentally,my twin brother's also...guffaw!).we went to ikea today to get me a desk for my 'work area' in the living room...but what i was after was out of stock.but i came back home and found a slight alternative WAS there,so back to ikea we go,when we have the chance...

i think we're going to see 2012 tomorrow:)had a driving lesson today and enjoyed it lots!roll on passing!!!!

and!that's it for now!i'm pooped!longer update and the 'ask me' photos asap,i promise xxxxx

ps. new moon in almost 2 days...

Friday 13 November 2009

office

has every office,or workplace,got one of those people who have to make things ten times more difficult than it actually is?

that person who never asks about you and your life,but loves going off on a tangent about theirs...even when you haven't asked?

the worker who ignores you,even when you say hello,when they're in a bad mood?

the member of staff who occasionally speaks to you nicely,but most of the time loves treating you as if you're their minion (even though they're not management)?

these are all seperate people...and none of the people that would be reading this (hello kim!)...but i'm thinking,maybe there is one of each of these people in most jobs?

Wednesday 11 November 2009

lonely lonely lonely

i feel horrible today.i really do.i hate that when mikee does have work it's like 4-1am or something like that.and because i've been off work sick today and been in bed until 3pm,i feel even worse.i'm trying to arrange going back to wolverhampton this weekend as mikee is working friday night and then going to manchester sunday-monday for a gig.it's not an awful long time to be alone.but it feels silly sitting in on my own when i could visit my family.just not looking forward to taking the boys on the train.i can just see them going crazy when the conductor comes to collect my ticket.gah.

and on a plus note,i finally went to watch saw 6 at the cinema last night.i expected to hate it,as saw 5 was so rubbish.i'm a huge saw fan,and so was pleased because i thought saw 6 was awesome!some parts of the previous films got explained that i hadn't even thought about...really awesome.and mikee's friend who works at cineworld got us in free,which was an added bonus!:D

Tuesday 10 November 2009

cancelling driving lesson=

FAIL.

tell me,how did you all find learning to drive/

x

crippling anxiety/fear?

i'm driving myself crazy.my anxiety is creeping up on me more and more lately.like for example,today.i'm still feeling ill.whenever i eat anything lately,i feel like i need to go straight to the bathroom.as icky as it sounds,i can't keep anything in.so,basically i think i need to reschedule my driving lesson tonight,for when i'm better,as i don't wanna be in that situation when i'm driving...and i feel pretty flaky anyway.

now here's the thing.my mind keeps telling me when i cancel things, 'you can do it,you're just finding an excuse not to because you're a little nervous'.but i'm not crazy,i KNOW i feel under the weather and have since friday.but my anxiety beats me up over it.and i think: i'm letting my instructor down.i won't pass my driving test.why is it taking me so long to learn to drive?why aren't i better at it?all these thoughts,but i know that i will pass eventually,if i keep the lessons up.and i know that i'm not really fit to do tonights lesson.but my mind finds cancelling so stressful...and...gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.i'm driving (excuse the unintentional pun) myself insane.

my instructor don is pretty easy going,and i know he would just say "relax,chill out!" (weird when he does,as he's like a 'dad' type person,feels funny to hear him say it!) but my anxiety,as usual,wins.i wish i didn't think and feel like this,it's not such a big deal.but tonight i will feel shitty for cancelling,and i know i have the power NOT to feel shitty,but it feels like a struggle.

i hate anxiety and nerves.

"You know, our bodies are capable of doing some very funny things when they're consumed by stress and anxiety." dr. cohen (garden state)

ask me (borrowed from the lovely danielle)

having just drooled over danielle's post of this (sometimes sweet...and i still haven't figured out how to link blogs...or maybe i'm just being too lazy to figure out something amazingly easy?)i thought i would do a 'ask me' blog...so i have copied and pasted danielle's 'rules of play' and hope that you will play along with me...and do this for yourself.be sure to let me know so i can be super nosy and ask to see photos of things that you own/love...

"Go ahead and comment and name anything in my life you'd like to see a photo of! It can be where I sleep, my favorite makeup, the view from my living room window...anything!

Later this week I will make a picture post showing you all of the things in my world you were interested in seeing!

Also, please post this in your blog so we can keep the little game going!"

*even if just one person requests something,i will still reveal all (aka.whatever it is you wanna lurk about me) xxxx

Monday 9 November 2009

everyone's a doctor nowadays

over the weekend i have been feeling pretty lousy.aches and pains,painful and iffy tummy,and general 'fuzziness'.i think it is down to the antibiotics i have been taking for my ear infection,so i have stopped taking them.i guess i need to go see the doctor again,see if they can prescribe me an alternative...

anywho,so today i'm a little better and at work.i had a quick go on the nhs' 'online symptom checker' for swine flu (we really shouldn't be blaming it on the pigs...) and was given a code to go pick up tamiflu.now i really don't think i do have swine flu,i have only some of the symptoms and i felt well enough to come into work...but i decided to ring my doctors anyway just to check,and the receptionist said someone would call me later.

i mentioned this to a work friend who told me that unless you have a temperature,it's not swine flu.i then told my manager,as she came into the kitchen when i was checking my temperature.she said i wouldn't be able to move if i had swine flu.again,i'm pretty sure i don't have it.but,it makes me giggle at everyone and their doctor ambitions!


UPDATE: so,the doctor called me back and i told him my symptoms.he said that he thought it was simply a side effect of the antibiotics i was taking,and suggested i just stick to drinking water and eating plain foods,such as rice.i'm gonna twist that a little to noodles i think.not sure what to replace the water with yet...i just really find water so bland and icky,unless it's a boiling hot day and i'm thirsty as hell.

Friday 6 November 2009

hello there:)

first of all...two weeks today until new moon is released!i have my tickets booked,one set for the friday showing (super late,hoping to miss the crowds...yeah right!)for me and mikee, and another two tickets booked for the sunday showing.hopefully a friend of mine (justine) is coming down from bristol to see it with me.she too is majorly obsessed with anything twilight,and i think it would be awesome to go see it with a fellow twihard!she's coming down with her boyfriend simon,who has been a good friend of mikee's for a while,so they're gonna hang out while justine and i go see our 2nd showing of new moon (she also has tickets booked for the release day).eeee,excitement!mikee is making me giggle lately because he keeps suggesting we watch twilight,and when i make a joke about him loving twilight as much as me,he tries to convince me he's asking incase i want to watch it!plus last night he said he was excited about seeing new moon because "i've (me) hyped it up so much for him".yeah yeah,whatever!!!
;)

this poster makes me laugh,edward's head looks so superimposed!

finally it seems winter is upon us!it's chilly today!it was super warm at the end of last week/start of this week,so it's nice to finally get that winter chill.i love winter!i love everything about it!the dark days,the dark nights,the cold,the excuse to wrap up warm and wear lots of layers...i'm a total winter girl,i don't like the summer that much.i mean,i do like going out more to places like the park and the beach.but i have always found summer to be really unsettling.i feel like i should constantly be out when the evenings are light,and it may go back to when i was a child/teenager.i was social,but that didn't really start properly until around 16 or so.so until that and here and there after that age,i used to find myself feeling very lonely on the summer evenings,thinking everybody but me was out and about,doing something exciting.i've always hated that feeling of missing out.i was,and still am,a weird girl!but yes,i do love winter.so much.

last night was bonfire night!we didn't do anything.last week was halloween!we,uh,didn't do anything!my friend saffy and her boyfriend steve were due to come back to south wales for the weekend,which they did.but steve was ill,so they had to cancel.mikee and i were still going to go ahead and go see dawn of the dead,which was showing at the buffalo bar in town.but by the time we had discussed it,and it was clear that saffy and steve weren't coming,we were tired and feeling lazy...so we ended up just staying in!to be honest though,i think we were both relieved.we were pretty tired,and mikee was going to london for a few days with an old friend of his on the monday,so he needed to save his energy,and his money,for that!i guess the way we are anyway,halloween is a pretty strong theme for us all through the year!

as i mentioned,bonfire night was last night.up until i met mikee,it never really occurred to me the reasons behind the bonfire night traditions.and even then i didn't particularly celebrate it.it's just not on my list of things to do...go and stand in the cold darkness watching fireworks go off.i do remember when i was young though...going to a bonfire,and taking baked potatoes wrapped in foil with us.it's amazing the things you remember.the feelings of being a child are priceless.whenever i think back,there was a feeling,an atmosphere to my younger years.i can't explain it,but i do miss it.

anyway,yes,bonfire night...so a lot of anarchists do not celebrate bonfire night,as it marks the anniversary of the failure of the gunpowder plot by guy fawkes.basically guy fawkes was a leader of a group of so-called 'anarchists' who plotted to blow up the houses of parliament.this sounds very anarchist so far.but reading into it (ie. looking at google,wikipedia,yahoo questions...)it looks more to me like religious extremism,as the gang were catholics who disaproved of the protestants (for many reasons) and wanted to blow them up.so without going into all the details,though it is all very interesting (i wish i'd gone on to study history sometimes),to me the anarchist tag that has been put onto mr guido fawkes is maybe not deserved.i guess v for vendetta's guy fawkes connetion does confuse the matter.but i do love that film.

well,i've enjoyed blogging this morning!i'm not doing it as often lately,what with being busy with my crafting ventures,and work being busier,but i will hopefully continue to update any of you that are doing me the honour of reading what i get up to!

Sunday 1 November 2009

four oh

just wanted to say a big thank you to my followers!40 lovely people...so i'm sending out 40 internet hugs to you all.it's so sweet of you to read my blog,and it means an awful lot to me.thank oooooo! xxxxxxxxx