Monday, 20 July 2009

sunday sadness

yesterday i was feeling very sad.i think it is because i feel like i have lost all artistic direction,and i don't know what i want to do with my personal life couldn't be better,and we are both pretty excited for our impending wedding.i am so happy with mikee,i feel like i fall more and more in love with him each day.and we both adore our little furry men,they bring so much happiness and joy to our lives.
what i am getting down about is money,or lack of it.i hate that it is always in the back of my mind,the whole "can i afford this?" feeling.and what is especially getting me down is something i didn't expect is steady money,fairly easy and i literally live across the road from the offices.but i am growing very fed up with the way i get treated seems to be true,that the lower the wage the less respect you is very disheartening to know that the next salary up from me is an additional £5000.i don't earn even £1000 a month,and compared to everyone elses wages,that's pretty job could be so much worse.but it is surely bad enough that i feel so low and undervalued.i guess it's almost a given in employment,but it's sad that it has to be this way.i have spent more than enough years wasted not following my dreams.and what i think has unnerved me is that i now know i don't particularly want to get a tattoo apprenticeship.this is something i've wanted for a long time,for me to know that i no longer want this,is a little disconcerting.i need to find a direction.

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