Friday, 29 January 2010

what do i look like to you?

so the other evening,sam and i were chatting,and sam mentioned that my appearance (the tattoos and the hair namely) may be deceiving to people that don't know me (which is most people).it made me wonder how i come across to people on a daily basis?i mean,i know how i look to the random idiots on the street,because they actively tell me.all the time.and it's really annoying.their ignorance and plain lack of manners really gets to me.but unfortunately i don't think it will ever change,people are just too set in their ways.and unfortunately it seems to rub off on their spawn!
but besides all the hassle i get,i wonder what people think i'm like?i think that most likely my image could mislead people.i may have big hair,lots of tattoos and wear black...but i'm a quiet homebody at heart!i love nothing more than staying in with my boyfriend and our boys (the doglets),crafting and watching a good ideal night out would be going to see a film.i do drink but not a lot these days,i've never smoked or took drugs...i'm actually quite dull.but does my appearance tell people this?i'm not sure.
i really do hope that people don't look at me and think i look miserable or intimidating because i guess my image is a little eyecatching and 'gothic'!but it's how i want to be,i don't rebel in any other ways so i guess the way i look is my rebellion.but even as i am writing this,this doesn't ring true for me,as i don't dress to rebel against others/the norm,i dress for me.
as a heavily tattooed young woman,you'd think i'd like sites such as suicide girls or godsgirls.i really don't.people say these sites empower women,and show that tattooed women are just as sexy or good to look at.i personally think they give the wrong impression of tattooed women.just because a woman is tattooed doesn't mean she has to show them to the world!it's weird because all 'normal' looking women aren't thought of in the same light as porn stars/'glamour models'.but tattooed women seem to get tarred with the same 'alternative porn' for example,burning angel...i guess it's good that the tattooed community has 'tattooed porn' but to me,i'm just not into it.don't get me wrong,i'm not against porn or nude modelling...there's so many worse things in the world (i guess before you start look into the seedy underbelly of the porn industry)...but i just find it cliched and boring.and i don't want tattooed women to all get put in the same category.
i think in short,i'm just trying to say,i'm pretty dull.i don't party.i don't go wild much.despite what i might look like.

*apologies for the extremely self-centred post,it was just something i was thinking about!


  1. see, i've always fancied doing some shoots with heavily tattooed ladies, but i dont want things wobbling in front of my face. if they were tattooed in certain areas and wanted images for themselves, fair enough. but i wouldnt actively think "corr, shes got tattoos, i wonder if she'd get em out". that sort of thing doesnt appeal to me, and i think in the regard the imagination is a much more pleasing thing than a simple visual.

    with regards to how people see you, i've often thought about this too. being tall and not in the least bit slim, i often get the feeling people are intimidated by me, which isnt easy as i'm not the most outgoing person! i've got better over time, and i think less oaps shit themselves when they see me walking towards them as i smile and say 'hullo!' i dont have any tattoos, but they've always been something i've fancied having, though i'd restrict myself to my arms!

  2. I've only seen the pictures you have posted in your blog and I honestly don't believe you look miserable or intimidating, or that you look like all you do is party or do drugs. That's silly. I wish people wouldn't judge on first looks, it's rotten. I look dull sometimes and what my boyfriend calls "bitchy snot pants", but I'm pretty dull and pretty far from "bitchy snot pants". I tend to rather stay in on a Friday or Saturday night and watch movies or old reruns, and also not talk to strangers in public because it freaks me way the fuck out.

  3. I know what you mean, I totally wonder how I come across to people as sometimes I don't bother to make an effort with my appreance, so I wonder what people think of me I just a loser who can't dress and looks like she needs a wash?! haha..

    In liverpool we have this 'girl group' called the evil girls, it's kind of like suicide girls, but in the flesh. it's soo nasty, seriously, the girls are all about 17, have a load of dodgy tattoo's and prace around the club in primark underwear, all while being oggled by teenage boys and grown men who couldn't care less if they are 'alternative' or not. they're a piece of meat for those men the way I see it, not liberated, but if that's what they want to do then they are free to do so I just hope they do feel in control. I have wondered how people treat the evil girls when they are wearing clothes and going about their normal lives? I know that over the years I have learnt to never judge a book by it's cover [cliche sorry] but we live in a society were appearances often count for more than personality :(

  4. Ashley - I agree with you about staying in + away from strangers...haha!

    Maria - I really don't think you come off as intimidating or anything, but I feel like I know you as a person so I know that you're not like that. If people judge you then they're probably not worth knowing anyway [another cliche, what is wrong with me?!]. people often judge because they feel inadequate about themselves in some way so you gotta feel bad for them in a bizzaro way!
    much love x

  5. I can understand the the ignorant people you speak of,I meet them most days...I get laughed at for the way I look,but i don't care...Yes it would be nice for people to see you,but that is part of us...My sister's 23 heavily tattooed,black hair and beautiful...But people are just imtimadated by her and she doesn't do any thing to them...Just enjoy life and be yourself,it's their loss,you are also a beautiful person...

  6. I go through this too. The funny thing is I work in an EXTREMELY corporate job where I keep my tattoos covered and have to find jewelry to hide the big holes in my ears. When I end up going out with anyone after work, or on a work-trip I always get these deep stares! Like WTF Emily! It's weird to me. I guess I benefit because I can be friendly with these people prior to them seeing all my art..

    either way, you're very pretty :)

  7. kev: ah,i could never think of you as intimidating!but the thought of oaps shitting themselves when seeing you made me giggle!tehe.and i think that's actually really cool that nude modelling doesn't really do it for you...shows that you're a very sensitive and unique fella:)or something like that!

    ashley: bitchy snot pants,tehe,you don't look like that to me!you sound like my kinda gal,film nights are amazing.and people,especially people you don't already know...are very overrated i think:)

    kirsty:you're so sweet and cute!anybody who would judge you negatively is a bastard.and that's all there is to it!i'm not an overly clean girl...and my hair is dreading up at the back,but i like being a bit of a mess!(i swear i do shower and wash though!)those evil girls sound kinda icky and tacky :( i'm sure that some of them are lovely and intelligent,i guess they just see things differently...but i think you're very some men (and i say 'some' because not all of them are like that,like our kev up there!)they are just boobs and butt,alternative or not!there's been godsgirls at club nights here in cardiff,and my male friend has gone to them just to ogle's a shame really..!you'd think that we'd get past that mentality at some stage.

    gingey:you always sound so wise!love reading your comments!it's so silly isn't it...but i guess we do all judge on appearance.i try my best not to,but i know i am just as guilty sometimes *hangs head in shame* and thank you for the last part of your comment,you seem like a beautiful soul yourself!

    emily: thank you so much for the pretty comment!you are a gorgeous young lady,and i LOVE your tattoos!it's odd how people that we know and get on with can be so shocked at our tattoos when we uncover them out of work!it's a mixture for me,as in i can have my tattoos on show at work (kinda no choice seen as i had my hands done...ooops!hehe)but i've never shown my full sleeves,only outside of work.i don't know what their reaction would be if i did wear a short sleeved shirt to a women's aid organisation i'd like to think nothing would be said.i remember when i started there,i was asked to tone my hair down on the first is quite bad really as it shouldn't matter...but i didn't help matters as i went to the interview with 'normal' hair then went with my version of normal hair on the first day (extensions etc) so i guess i duped the manager.but then again it shows that i got the job regardless of image i guess.i'm guessing i wouldn't have got it if i'd gone to the interview with my hair done up?which anyway,i toned my hair down for a couple of weeks,but as soon as i saw all the other staff dressed how they wanted i just went for it.and i'd also heard the chief-executive of our organisation encouraged diversity,so i planned to use that if i was challenged.but i did make sure i dressed as smart.nothing more was said anyway!proof you can be alternative and be smart and i'm sure you are in your profession. xxxxx

  8. I think you look like a sweetie and I love your style. I don't put much thought into what people think of me. I just go about my way and let the thoughts of disapproval float away. I live in a very yuppie town and if I wear anything a little different I get looks. I take it as a compliment now. Have a great weekend dear.