my lovely sam has tagged me to tell my blog readers 10 random facts about me.so here goes!
1. summer depresses me.the sun and the heat and the long nights...i have pretty much always found it really depressing.i don't find it too bad now,especially as last summer was spent in cardiff,and mikee and i (and usually the boys) would go out and about in the car,or on foot.i know that most people feel the opposite.that winter and the dark weather makes them feel miserable...but i feel most happiest in autumn and winter.i have felt this way since i was old enough to go out to 'play' on the street i lived in,so i guess that would be around 10ish?the summer has always made me feel restless.and as i have always felt a little lonely and a little left out of things,i have always felt that i am stuck in on summery days while everyone is out and having fun.how crazy is that?!even without trying to rationalise it,summer just feels empty and lonely to me.my mom thinks it may be because pivotal moments have happened in summer (ie. my parents divorce,my time away in london and probably some other events)and my brain has linked unhappiness/upheaval to summer months.like just after i moved to cardiff and mikee had split up with me,i remember in the mornings (although it wasn't yet summer,it was quite bright first thing)i would lie in bed and feel so empty and lonely and sad...and the bright weather/sun just made me feel more so.
2. i have a twin brother called kevin.he's around 6 foot,very skinny and quite fashionable.we used to have such a connection,and would play together all the time when we were younger.that strong bond has gone in the last few years,but i think it's still there deep down.we have a very similar sense of humour.i feel very special having a twin.
3. when i was younger,i had many aspirations,and one was to be a writer.i would write pages and pages and get really into it,maybe even fill 3/4 of an exercise book in a matter of hours.then i would lose interest and my 'novel' would be left and all my enthusiasm for it gone!
4. when my beloved pet jack russell suzy died,i would write letters to her every night,and keep them in a cloth bag under my pillow.i think i did this for months,but didn't tell anyone.
5. i used to absolutely adore the film titanic.i still love the film now,but in a more rational way...you see,i loved the film that much i went to see it *cough* 19 times.yes,19 times.and titanic is a long film.you may think me crazy and very sad.but i loved it.besides loving the film,i loved going to the cinema every week,buying lots of sweets and meeting my cinema buddy alison.it was a really fun time!though i think i was a little crazy...i love the twilight films a hell of a lot more,and would watch them that many times at home,but not at the cinema.i mean i couldn't afford it even if i wanted to!i think the cinema was around £3/4 back then (i think i must have been in my early teens),but i still don't know how i afforded it!
6. i was in a abusive relationship for almost 5 years.people that say "i would never stay with someone who hit me" can't say that until they have been in that situation.looking back,i couldn't go through something like that again.but at the time,it wasn't as simple as it should have been.though i do wish i hadn't wasted so many years on one,very manipulative and nasty,person,whom i always knew wasn't right for me anyway,even from the very moment i met him.loneliness makes you very dismissive of things that may not be right.
7. my dad used to call me 'tea belly' when i was a small child,apparently i used to really like tea!
8. in my very early teens,i liked nothing more than reading.i would go get at least 10 books from the library on a saturday,lie on the settee at home and eat lots of chocolate or icecream.favourite books were sweet valley high,sweet valley twins,babysitters club,judy blume,point horror,christopher pike.
*i think i have mentioned this in an earlier post,but it is one of my favourite memories.
9. i love my boyfriend mikee with all my heart.he is the first boyfriend i have ever fully been myself with.without meaning to be crude or too personal,i can say that he is the only man ever to see me without any clothes on at all.i was never confident enough before (though i have only ever 'been' with 3 people,again it may be a little personal to say this,but i'm not ashamed to admit it,this is meant to be a blog about me!)and used to think it was me.now i know it was that i hadn't met the right person,with whom i felt totally at ease with.
10. and finally,i'm gonna try think of a super light hearted last fact,because most of them have been mega serious!
my first experience with 'social networking' online was faceparty,and my first ever profile name on there was spinspinsugar (after the sneaker pimps song,who i loved at the time).looking back,faceparty was shit.
so!i am going to tag...
1. you're the only thing i wouldn't change
2. the cat whisperer
3. jessica (pulse)
4. i bleed pink
5. socially awkward.fml.
10 things about you lovely lot please!